i think i've had it.

... & i am going to miss you.

2009-09-09T21:52:00.000+08:00

9th September 2009

been down for 2 days. and lastnight, i smiled at last. embarrasing, and yet i am happy she's not that mad anymore.

*i hope you like what i got you love =]*

it's 2 days left till you're off back to UK. and i hate thinking about it.

time flies. and i was hoping i could just break those wings off them =]

and yes it took me awhile to confess to you face to face, but i'm glad i did. it's better late than never.

*was going to do it when i'm sending you off on Friday but, since you don't want me to come that day, so i did it lastnight =]*

and love, i am telling the truth about you. never one word is a lie, just so that you know x]

she's going to stay in UK for a year plus, not coming back for semester breaks. yeah there's facebook and MSN, but.. it's not going to be the same.

yes this is life. we never get what we really wanted. maybe you'll say i'm lame, and a jerk, but.. i care =]

and thanks for the two days hell you gave me. thanks for making me realise that i do care for you :]

*and love, i am still sorry that i made you mad*

well i'm off. i'm in class and i don't have a clue what the tutor is teaching us =.=

& can you stay?

...

2009-09-06T15:04:00.002+08:00

okay why am i in a bad mood?

i mean okay i started the day with a smile.

and then i watched some old movies.

chatting with her.

then..

okay i don't know why or what makes me feel down like this. i really don't.

and sufi.. baby i'm sorry about my comments. i didn't mean to, i.. sigh. i'm screwed by this much, yes? i'm really, really sorry if you are pissed off by me. i don't know what i should do now or.. gahhh i dont know i dont know i dont know!! this freakin' head is hurting and i am not thinking straight..!! why can't i just smile and not depressed like this. and i blame this thing in me.

im gonna be away for awhile. just until i regain myself up. this sucks. and i hate my life. i hate everything. i fucking hate it when i just can't do what i wanted, being shut by something and not be able to overcome it. this is me. god i just need someone now..

Sorry

2009-09-06T14:15:00.003+08:00

to sufi. im sorry =) didnt mean to. cat got my tongue. maybe you're hating me now. i dont mind. well maybe this is the last, and i just want you to know i've been adoring you since this past few weeks. and.. mm.. sorry once again.

& maybe it's for the better.

and i screamed.

2009-09-04T11:33:00.003+08:00

waiting for you, under the abandoned sky
a peace in mind, don't cry
just your warmth is good enough to,
make myself feel true.

another day, another reason
as for you, you never listened
what i was trying to tell
it doesn't even ring a bell.

just a bit longer, i wished
can't you just stay, never leave
i am hopeless, i am crazy
no, it's just that you can't see.

for every little thing i said
for everything that i've done
for every moment spent, for you
i never regret, i never do.

but if i am too late, then just let it be
if you're happy, then i'll leave
don't call my name, there's no turning back.
i love you, and that's the last :]

& i was feeling lonely.

update - 1st September

2009-09-01T14:23:00.005+08:00

it's 1:46 AM, and i still can't sleep.

i can't go online (sufi baby i'm sorry =]) because the broadband's with my sister, while my handphone is being a total jerk =.=

i did play DoTA earlier (yes i play the game so shut up.) but got tired of losing to the AIs (assholes), so i went checking on my old files in my old external harddisk.

dumdedum checking the files~

then, one picture caught my eyes. it was like really, really hidden (well not anymore) and i went, wow.

it was a picture of me and Ella (i just hope you don't mind me posting this x])

the picture was taken during dinner, at.. what was the place called again.. umm.. couldn't remember.

she was a wee different back then. and i was too.

we were happy back then. and she's happier now. (keep it up love. don't ever fall =])

we're okay now i guess. we stay in touch, although it's not that often.

but hey, i do miss her ;] teman, aku rindu kamu.

anyway, now i'm going to blog about yes-you-know-who.

Hjh Ervy Sufitriana (L)

she is petite, kind, adorable (i don't care if you're older than me, you're still adorable ;p), funny, happy-go-lucky, trustworthy and a good friend :]

i got to know her during our practice sessions of the MJ Tribute Event. she's one of the choreographers, along with Zatty (Happy Belated Birthday! ;D).

at first i thought she was that kind of.. ambung.. person (benar, i really did 0.0 don't kick me on Thursday please :p)

but as we talked and talked, i went, "hey.. she's a nice girl.." *smiling widely*
LOL i remembered when she told us the story about The Pink Ping-Pong Ball (oh boy oh boy oh boy!! xD) and we laughed a lot (not because it's funny, but just because she wasted our 10 minutes hearing a story, without any endings 0.0 conclusion: never hear the story about THE PINK PING-PONG BALL from anyone. lol :p)

after the tribute event, we contacted through Facebook (where she stalked for my phone number ;p) and MSN (shoot i want to chat with you =[ )

she always put a smile on my face. always do. be it in Facebook, MSN or text messages, she never fails to make me smile x]

she's going back to UK for her study. 11th September. it's less than 2 weeks. sigh. can i stop the time please? =']

lastly, i just want to say thank you. thank you for being such a wonderful friend. i miss you love :] can't wait to see you, and the others this coming Thursday.

that's it for tonight. i'll be back blogging soon, if i am not busy that is =] hugs for the friends.

&& time just flew by.

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY!!

2009-08-24T00:12:00.002+08:00

24th August 2009

12.15am i am writing this, and today is my sister's 18th birthday (;

i am currently at the CoffeeZone in Kiulap and we're celebrating her birthday just a few minutes ago. gahahaha. my sister is getting old. tidak kecil lagi =.='

anyways, maybe i'll post some pictures later. maybe. itu pictures of her birthday celebration. it's late and i have classes later T.T omg puasa lagi. GAHHHHHH.

goodnight everyone.

& it's 2 days, 19 hours and 36 minutes left till you're back x]

for the egg (;

2009-08-23T03:28:00.001+08:00

23rd August 2009

back to blogging =]

today's the first day of the fasting month. and i was hungry. gahaha. Happy Fasting people x]

so, how have i been doing..? i've been good, great. got into ITB (i turned down the BST scholarship. whee~) and took HND in Communication and Computer Systems Engineering (got this course instead of Internet and Multimedia T.T). life's been great. for the past few weeks, it has been great. made new friends in ITB. studying in a good environment. blablabla~

and i participated in the MJ tribute event. a lot of dancers, yesyes. got to know a lot of people and.. her =] aha. it was a great experience dancing with you guys. i've missed you all. sufi, zatty, fuad, fakhri, hadi, farhan, hasra, kj, anip, hafiz, epal, qawi, khalis and others. thanks for the fun i had =] THANK YOU.

now.. about her ;] aha. petite, lovable, squeakable(literally) andd adorable x] she makes me laugh for the past weeks in rehearsals. she's on vacation currently, KL. get home soon love. i miss you =]

well that's it for now. i'll blog again soon (or else she'll kill me :D) happy fasting!

P/S: itam's family, gather, sungkai in mid puasa month. get a voting system for when and where the venue will be held.

& its 3 days 15 hours and 24 minutes left till you're back :]

& i bled myself

2009-05-31T23:47:00.000+08:00

seriously, i was bleeding =.='

was cutting some boxes to small cards when i accidently missed the point where i'm suppose to cut and you people know what happened.

that cutter cut my 'ibu jari', deep =.=" and i was bleeding like hell.

didn't told my supervisor though.

he'd found out on his own. and i was right.

he was told by one of the colleagues, and came to me laughing.

hahaha.

that guy. that's why i like that supervisor of mine.

well i only take some plasters off the cashier's cabinet, and..

TADAAA~

haha see? i just wrapped them small plasters around my finger. i don't even know how i should do it, but it stopped the bleeding. that's good right..? =3

haha. i didn't get the chance to took a picture when it bled tho'. too busy trying to stop it from bleeding.

wuw.

well at least i got a shot of some of the blood i spill before the cleaners cleaned it up.

you people, if you'd seen the blood, aish. i think you all would go "WTH!!!"

hahaha. oh well. i better finish this all up :) ouh, two pictures. the first one is a weird, common vegetable.. seriously.

WEIRDDDD, RIGHTTTT??? ;D HAHAHA!

and now, for the girls (;

got that from a vegetable, sawi of a kind (x whee~

that's that. i have to go to sleep. goodnight people.

Something about you. That makes me feel bad. I wasn't there when a thin line. Destroyed your soul.

I search every corner. There's nowhere to hide. How I feel ignorance. Sacrifice some days it's harder. Let's face it, it's all about me. Deeply into your own.

Deep within me. Life's crawling and wasting my days. Another night gone and I know there will be another way. I'm leading myself to be free in this eternal goodbye.

Something about you. Will make me stronger. Now I'm aware when a man falls. Rebound, my fault.

I search every corner. There's nowhere to hide. How I feel ignorance. Sacrifice some days it's harder. Let's face it, it's all about me. Deeply into your own.

Deep within me. Life's crawling and wasting my days. Another night gone and I know there will be another way. I'm leading myself to be free in this eternal goodbye, goodbye.

Here I wanna be (no more lies) Here I wanna be (no more lies) Here I wanna be, here I wanna be (no more lies) Here I wanna be (no more lies) Here I wanna be.

Deep within me . Life's crawling and wasting my days. Another night gone and I know there will be another way. I'm leading myself to be free in this eternal goodbye, goodbye.

Deep within me. Life's crawling and wasting my days. Another night gone and I know there will be another way. I'm leading myself to be free in this eternal goodbye.

- Within Me by Lacuna Coil

& for a reason i think it's better.

& back to blogging.

2009-05-29T20:18:00.000+08:00

gahh it has been a very busy week for me T.T

started working at somewhere. well it has been two weeks, and thank god the job is okay. made new friends, and working there is a great experience (; baie banarrr. haha. only my colleagues faham ni ;p

last 18th was my birthday. yeah. im 19 now. gahh i feel old =.='
i was about to post before midnight of 18th but, my phone broke down and i lost my notes =.= iagfasefiafjakhlstupidddasssphoneee. i cant wait to get a new one. sheesh.

i am still not okay i think (: mahn i miss my old friends. including her too. yeap. i miss you. hee. oh well. she's happy. i should be happy for her too. and yes i am trying to move on, don't worry.

and btw, thanks to the people who greets me on my birthday. on my facebook wall. by text messages. no one called me but it's okay. thank you friends and family (; and btw, RADI WAHID, kamu HOT! :D hahaha benar aku suka bha. idc if he's a guyyyyy. i like him (y) whee~ now don't get me wrong people. i am still a straight guy. suwearr ;p haha.

okay i think i'll stop here. maybe i'll blog only once a week because of me working but umm, i'll try to blog as soon as i could (; hehe. goodnight people.

& to think that i already lost my hopes.

and it's bff month.

2009-05-10T00:19:00.000+08:00

7th May

special day. why? well..

Happy 20th Birthday Bestfriend!!

ohhh shooot you're getting olderrrr ;D now this girl right here, we go wayyyyyy back, kan kan kan dear? ;D hahaha. mahn, she's my bestmate, bestfriend, intan payungkuuuuu. and bestie, yknow i'd do anything for you, kan? (; and again, happy birthday! may god bless, and be happy love (x

Happy 2nd Gaymonthsary!!

gaha. okay, this girl is my gaymate. a bestie. and yes, she needs me, and i need her. gahhaaa. a great girl, friend and family.

nha, you wrote me lyrics in your blog. i'll write you up something, and i wrote it myself (;

& at times like this that i need you.
for all the times we've been through.
those hard times we had.
those fun times we played.

& let the winds just blow our feet.
and off we fly above the clouds.
let us hold hands.
side by side.

& i will say, always.
that i care.
that i need.
that i love.

& a friend like you is never common.
one of the hardest thing i'd ever try to find.
a good friend indeed.
a good friend in need (;

gahaa, done ;p anyway, i am blessed having you both as my friend. thank you (:

& all i ever need is you.

thank you (:

2009-05-03T21:24:00.000+08:00

i was reading through someone's blog, and i came across with this quote, and believe me, after reading it, it feels a lot better (:

"live with no excuses, love with no regrets"

thanks, and sorry Mun i wrote this quote in my blog without your permission. sorry yeah?

& it's just another path, another route i'll be taking (:

it hurts (:

2009-04-30T20:03:00.000+08:00

" yees, because i dont wanna like you or be close friends with you.
fullstop."

that was the last text she sent me. idk why, but i just want to be friends (': oh well. i better not make this a very long thing to write. i respect her still. and im not lying anymore (: thank you, teman (:

& i hope you live forever, my friend.

life (:

2009-04-30T09:39:00.000+08:00

well, basically it sucks. serious shit.

idk what i should be taking, ITB or that BST scholarship. i mean that scholarship's cool, i can go UK, Japan and Korea afterwards. and ITB, the course im taking is under Internet and Multimedia, which is one of my interests.

sigh. still looking for a job. nada bha. shial =.= i need money. seriously.

and and i miss my old life (: haha. i know i shouldn't be, but hey, i miss it. like entah, i was happy. well now i'm not. got the point? mahn i would give anything to be happy again.

see that? i think a lot ;p hahaha. stupid ass guy looking out of the window. you had your chances and you blew it. thanks a lot (:

anyway i should be going i guess. having an interview later (; toodles.

*SCREAMMSSSSS*

& suppose that i miss you (:

one night to remember

2009-04-20T08:34:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY WAFIY!! XD

this video is taken from his birthday party. and mahn was it wild. with all those lasers and smokescreens, gahhhhh!!

I HAD A GREAT TIME!! XD

and oh yeah, to that girl whom i pulled from the sofa, can i have your number? XP GAGAGAGA.

well shitty things happened before the party so i'm not gonna blog about it (:

and to wafiy darls..

"SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET LAIDD...!"

HAHAHAHAHA!!

blame hadi baby. he started it :p whee~

okay i'm off.

& i love dancing with you (:

& it's karma.

2009-04-18T18:43:00.000+08:00

its never meant to be (:

& like an arrow piercing my heart.

when i say..

2009-04-16T13:05:00.000+08:00

i'll wait.

and you'd say..

move on.

now i know why.

i was so fucking annoying.

yes i was.

and i still am.

haha.

why'd i say that?

because people are leaving me one by one, thats why.

don't say that's not true.

i can see it.

well its too late for that now, aint it? (:

buhbye friends.

& still, i lied.

rock-a-doodle-do

2009-04-13T20:42:00.000+08:00

woke up with a headache and my right arm, and shoulder just went gahhhhhhhhhh! =.='

sakit.

as the usual morning carwash, and i asked Qawi to drive for me (i was reallyreally tired, and sleepy) and mahn he can drive. like the car went down the hill really fast, macam itu initialD, but here's the thing.. it went backwards. seriously =.=' we got to school and i was like, "weh, aku drive," with my 'mahn-i-dont-wanna-die-early' face. qawi my friend, you better practice your balancing mahn ;D

well went to pantai meragang after lunch with the friends, hangout a bit, then we went ZOOOOOOOOOMMMMM on the highway xD coolies, my front tire's worn out.

and then.. picked up adeq from school, went home, played tabletennis as the usual. and....

i played under the rain xD whee~

and my head hurts even more =.='

well thats it for today. too tired to type. i need to sleep.

& maybe i lied (:

another Brunei's rappers

2009-04-11T23:39:00.000+08:00

presenting..

MicBandits!!

now now, they're one of the coolest rappers in Brunei, and thanks to Ella for 'introducing' me to them xp hahaha. very original, seriously.

a new song

2009-04-09T10:35:00.000+08:00

these are some of the lyrics i made.
its just the draft, so yeah.

dance under the moonlight

the wounds deep inside you,
dont hold it back
one by one
dont bear it alone

nobody blames you for being who you are

now fly in grace
flee to the melody
and you will find a place
where your sorrow will heal

now fly away
under the moonlight
engrave the rhythm you desire
and dance to the song

you are who you are
as you spread your wings
you search for an answer
that no one knows

eternally
i will be shining upon you
wherever you go
i continue to hope

i will protect you

now fly in grace
flee to the melody
and you will find a place
where your sorrow will heal

now fly away
under the moonlight
engrave the rhythm you desire
and dance to the song

done (:

my wish for now?

2009-03-31T08:34:00.000+08:00

- a camera!

a basic Nikon D60's enough.. /kirai2

- money!

& lots of them! ;D

- 350z!

pearl silver with a metallic coat. whoa.

- a friend?

someone that is true to me :) seriously. i need one now.

& last and most important is,

- si ella damit xp

i'll get you back somehow ;p yes memajal, idc xD saya sudah jatuh cinta ama kamu. wahahaha!!

& somehow i just want you back ;D

home alone

2009-03-25T17:04:00.000+08:00

yeap.

im alone.

family gone to Limbang.

got nothing to do.

sigh.

i just wish she's here (':

& still i remember..

O.O

2009-03-25T00:01:00.000+08:00

aaaaa sorry sorry blog of mine i didnt blogged for like almost two weeks!!

hahaha

this blog is so like a diary of mine~ whee~

anyways...

yeah ive been busy for the last two weeks. a lot of things happened. aha.

well there aint much to update tho.

but there's two event i'd like to shout out here.

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE NEWLY WED,

ABANG KHADIMAN AND KAKA SITI!!! XD

GOD BLESS YOU BOTH!!

aha i was the best man for the groom ;p

and something happened to me on their solemnization. it's quite embarrassing though. when abang khadiman was reading the rites outloud, kaka siti cried. i saw this and cried as well.

fakkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

that was embarrassing. it's a good thing no one was watching me. i think only my uncle did =.='

hey hey don't get it all wrong. i was happy seeing kaka siti being happy. aha. i got jealous too (;

and the other occasion..

HAPPY BELATED ANNIVERSARY (':

it has been 2 years and 10 months since we've known each other

& it has been 2 years and 6 months since i've fell for you

and i will always be (';

there's no such thing as 'forever', but there's 'always'

i love you, and i will always do

for every moments i cherished

for every memories i remembered

it has been 5 months, and i am missing you

i am sorry, but i still care ('x

whenever you need me, i am here

remember that, for what i say is true

& when i say i'll wait, i will

I LOVE YOU, ELLA NABILA.

there, ive said it at last (:

goodnight dear people. and god bless all of us.

& everytime, you're in my mind.

. . . .

2009-03-11T19:39:00.000+08:00

she's happy? (:

& it was in summer we sang that song

alhamdulillah..

2009-03-11T19:27:00.000+08:00

I PASSED (:

(=

2009-03-11T01:19:00.000+08:00

been to the bridals a lot lately.

and ive been thinking..

will i ever get to be a part in it too? (:

heh.

well i guess i wont be.

a plan.

3 years, remind me.

5 years, promise me.

7 years, i'll stay.

and after 9 years, i'll take you away. and thats a promise (:

yes i am crazy. thanks.

& as i wait for nothing.

updates

2009-03-06T23:37:00.000+08:00

whoa ive went away benar2 didnt i? hahahaha

well here's the updates.

27th February

nothing interesting.. dvd's.. ps2.. sega..? -.-'

28th February

again.. nothing interests me..

1st March

hmmm... i am missing someone (:

2nd March

BST Aptitude Test!

I PASSED!! =D

& it's a happy annie for me and her (': i never forget. i would never. i still love you x'D

3rd March

BST Interview!

& it didnt go as well as i thought it would.. sigh..

4th March

Certificate Presentation at MTSSR, my license is out today...

whew, only a 3 hour class and i got my fucking license! hahaha!

5th March

too much tabletennis. my back hurts -.-'

6th March

went to my old house, doing some cleaning.. and my back hurts more -.-"

well that's it. malas kan type banyak-banyak (;

i'll just write things next time. goodnight.

& i still dream of you (:

& again.

2009-02-27T14:36:00.000+08:00

i am totally bored ='D

i am homealone, dan sedang melayan sakit hati kuu~

wuw.

to tell you the truth people, i am still not okay (':

sigh..

imma be away from the lappy for quite awhile, and maybe i'll not blog in this coming few days.

i want to lock myself in my room and ~~watch dvd~~ ~~play video games~~ sleep (:

good day.

& maybe i'll try again.

Secret - Can't Get Over You

2009-02-27T14:16:00.000+08:00

(Verse 1)
Silly dreams I wake.
It was just a memory of how we used to be baby.
Early in the morning you would always call me.
And say how much you've missed me.
I think about, the times we shared.
Girl I'd give the world to have it all back again.
Even though the seasons been passing by,
I can't seem to get you off my mind.

(Chorus)
I can't get over you.
No I can't get over you.
Over and over I've tried to say goodbye.
(No, I can't. No I can't)
I can't get over you.
No I can't get over you.
Night after night I've asked myself why?
(Why I can't get over you.)

(Verse 2)
What can I do to stop this madness inside?
Should I go out?
Should I stay at home?
Just the thought of you with another guy,
Makes me lose control,
I'm going out of my mind.
When we're together, you made me feel better than anyone could ever.
All the pain and troubles, just burst away like bubbles baby.
And when the seasons are standing still,
It feels like eternity in my mind.

(Chorus)

(Rap Bridge)
Ever since the day we said
Farewell my life's been filled
With silence,
Can't deny it
Laws of love and I can't defy it.
Driving down to your house one day,
Trying to think of sweet words to say,
Then I saw in your eyes that look of demise.
Now I can't stop thinking 'bout the times we -
Made out by the fireside,
Had dinner by the candlelight,
Broke up and made up so many times,
All vanished in just one night.
Now what am I supposed to do,
In a nightmare that I thought would never come true?
You used to say time heals all wounds.
Tell me why I can't get over you.

(Chorus x 2)

& this is how i feel (':

tired.

2009-02-26T23:53:00.000+08:00

my eyes are red. -.-
too much youtube-ing..
and my head is hurting like hell..
nye.
well today was a really boring day.

....A REALLY, BORING DAY.

hmm.. i am missing someone (:
yes yes we know who (x
she's busy i guess.
doing what, i don't know.
i would want to know, but umm..
neah, wouldn't want to disturb her (:
hee.

well that's it for today.
and a random quote for today..

"& for what i bear is another pain i am given.."

i am going to sleep (x

goodnight world.

& i am sure, it's you (:

Aurora - Estranged

2009-02-25T14:26:00.000+08:00

i find this song, amusing (: aha.

Lirik Lagu Aurora-Estranged

another randomness.

2009-02-25T13:38:00.000+08:00

i wrote some random things in my mobile phone..

i dont know if it makes sense or not..

but yeah, im posting it here anyway..

let time get past us..
and maybe we'll forget..

maybe we won't..
and maybe we'll cry..

maybe you already did..
and maybe i just can't..

maybe you don't..
and maybe i still love you..

random ae? (:

here's more..

close your eyes..
& open it..
do you see me?

& what awaits..?
in these depths unfathomed?
in these shadows unfolded?
fear and darkness aligned?

i closed my eyes, wishing that you would be beside me..
i opened it, hoping that you'd be the first that i'd see..
and as i closed it again, i cried..

well, that's it for now. actually there's more but, i'll post it in later days (:

& i'll wait

random..

2009-02-22T20:06:00.000+08:00

4 p.m.

a day, another day.. one step closer to what i want to achieve to have, a fairly good life (: scholarship, yeay. oi, pray for me people? (x

1 a.m.

sigh.. why did it happened? why? i wished for it to not to.. i prayed for it to not to.. then why did it happened? hehehe! oh my this is one big question in my head. and yes, i think it's better for me to get it out of my chest.

I MISS YOU, ELLA NABILA (':

... not enough.

I REALLY MISS YOU, ELLA NABILA!

... sigh..

well, does it matter now? ('x she's happy, and that's what matters. yes, that's what's important now.. her happiness.

omg, i love you x'D

- & if time would stop, i'd turn it back to before.

a very important day..

2009-02-18T12:09:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 2 YEARS & 9 MONTHS ANNIE (':

& it's far, it's close.. and i just lost myself in time..

it has been awhile..

2009-02-17T19:33:00.000+08:00

woahh..

i didnt blogged for a week? hah.

well i was busy, with stuffs..

my driver's going back to his country.. had some spring cleaning at my old house in Sg Akar.. ( im at Madang now xp ) & getting ready for college =) sigh.. soon.. until i change my mind about it. woowee...

now..

im getting my driver's license, a new song is coming.. & err.. let's just say.. im holding to what i call faith =)

i saw my past, and yes, im still holding to it..

i dont care what people would say, but im holding to it :)

& this is my last words.. imy (':

...

2009-02-11T14:33:00.000+08:00

this is not how i wanted it to be (':

& its just another song of the diary..

wrong dream.. no?

2009-02-09T09:20:00.000+08:00

oh my..
last night i had this dream..
and..

idk, it's just not right.

i can't state it here, because it'll literally cause damage in my life (:

well that's that. i am happy with that dream, and i am hurt at the same time.. apakan..

sigh..

memories..

2009-02-05T17:56:00.000+08:00

here's the song i made.

in an hour.

fuhh.

it was hard.

and i hope it's a pleasent to hear.

i cant sing, sorry (:

there..

i hope you're happy ella. and sorry. (: i love you. always.

god bless (:

and i just smiled (:

2009-02-05T10:52:00.000+08:00

life is unfair, no?

its just, idk..

now that she's no longer.. around.

i hate myself for that.

i havent slept.

i havent eaten.

my head is hurting like hell.

aish.

made a song.

i'll put it here next time.

maybe.

i feel left out (:

shit happens (:

2009-02-01T16:54:00.000+08:00

days go by, and SHIT HAPPENS (:

SATURDAY, 31ST JAN.

went to school, bla-bla-bla, statement of results, bla-bla-bla, friggin' bad grades, bla-bla-bla.

here's where the shitty thing happens. as i was getting my statement of result, meeting those teachers sitting inside the MP room..

i want to get my slip of statement of result and the teachers go, uhh, inda dapt pasal kau alum balikkan buku and i go whaaaaa??? ngek eh, rupa2nya ada buku ku ilang!!!! buduh.

and that night, she ends it (: noice.

haha i wont say what happened, but lets just say i'd feel like killing myself, tapikan, kalau th jua jadi ku kan bunuh diri, krg marah urg atu. hahahaha. hawu ja? wuuuu. aku sakit ati (:

next, moving on? fuckers, im not interested. made a promise, whether you like it or not, im not moving on. sampai kemati jua :p wuuuu aku emo. heeeee. EMOSI nya, hawu ja? ;p anyways, benar, dari hati. ako sayang. benar2 th ku sayang x')

sigh..

maybe it does ends like that..

then i called up a friend of mine. good friend. one of the best friend. and i told him to pick me up. and we went to gadong and somewhere else idk i wasnt paying any attentions and it was like.. 2.00 am?

haaa banyak urg yawwwwwwww. pundan pun ada ;p wuuuuuuu. and we went round2 brunei muara ne. what things we were doing? adaler (: kami ja tau. kamu na payah xD

after that he sent me home... pastu.. tidor lah. it was like 4.30am kah..? ae biar ae. suka inda suka peduli apaku. mana jua urg kn ingau anak buduh sorg ane yg nda dpt diharap ah. harhar.

SUNDAY, 1ST FEB

today... 8.00am went to menglait to play some basketball. buang stress lah. sakit kepala kan pengsan ganya inda main ah. harhar. baby jainul ku nda datang. nyu. semuanya menyakitkan atiku. harhar. pastu... played pingpong sama durg caesar and dizi, went to dizi's house watching tennis. i fell asleep, shit, malu wah -.-

oh yeah, i had an accident driving kaka's car xD siokkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk! kana marah ku lagi. haaaaaaaaaa.

MONDAY, 2ND FEB

happy annie (: and i cried ('x

TUESDAY, 3rd FEB

went to school, empire, gadong and balik rumah tidor. nothing's exciting (:

WEDNESDAY, 4TH FEB

been thinking. i should go away, no? (':

and something tells me that you don't care anymore.

done. i fucking hate myself. now go away. shoooo.

where's my love,

where's my hope,

and where's my reason to live..

back to blogging..

2009-01-30T17:15:00.000+08:00

hello (: well im back to blogging and the reason why is...

I FRIGGIN' HATE THAT PERSON WHO'S FRIGGIN' USING MY NAME AND I FRIGGIN' SWEAR THAT THAT PERSON IS A FRIGGIN' IDIOT, A FRIGGIN' IMBECILE AND NOT TO FORGET, FRIGGIN' BALMY!!

forgive me people. but i really don't like things like this to happen. heh.

man~ i just got my friggin' results and it's not a good one. so one dream gone.. 3 more to go. sheesh. and im still in a shock of how-the-hell-did-i-got-an-E-for-that-friggin'-biology! and that was my favourite subject! aiyah. ini macam susah eh -.-

well imma go. i'll edit this blog of mine sooner or later. and for my last words....

I HATE YOU, YOU, YOU AND... YOUU!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! OUT!

p/s: i miss that person (: and god knows who. and me think she knows too (x